#'I'm sorry. did you speak to me under false pretenses

[telomirage]

the ominous countdown beginning mid-fake bird complaint 😂😭 interrupted by joe de vivre having a sudden craving to play checkers

[hindulivesmatter]

You literally called "love jihad" a crime against Hindus. So, people electing to have interfaith marriages are somehow committing a crime against Hinduism by doing so. Muslim men who marry Hindu women are doing it to carry out some type of Great Replacement by converting them to Islam to make India more Muslim.

I wanted to put that plainly because you're clearly banking on that your non-Indian followers don't know what that means. You are saying that people choosing to marry who they love are somehow against Hinduism because those people are not Hindus. You are claiming that Muslim men who fall for Hindu women are actually part of some great conspiracy.

I want people to understand how crazy and conspiracist this logic is so they understand why to take every claim you have of "hindus are still oppressed in India" with a massive grain of salt. You are literally promoting the Hindu version of The Great Replacement Theory and of white people panicking over white women having mixed race babies.

You do not care about Muslims. It is a smokescreen. You think they are lesser and you support people oppressing them.

Yes, love jihad is extremely dangerous to Hindus. Luring a girl under false pretenses and then converting her without her consent is called love jihad. That is not the same as interfaith marriage.

Do you want me to deny the alarming number of cases of women being murdered by their Muslim partners? Or the fact that if a couple is entering an interfaith marriage, always have to convert to Islam. By that logic then, why can't the Muslim person convert to Hinduism?

I'm banking on my non-Indian followers? If they don't know what it means, they can either ask or do a Google search.

"You are saying that people choosing to marry who they love are somehow against Hinduism because those people are not Hindus."

When the fuck did I ever say that? Stop putting words in my mouth holy fucking shit.

"You are claiming that Muslim men who fall for Hindu women are actually part of some great conspiracy."

Again, NO. I am saying that there are cases of Muslim men, CHANGING THEIR NAMES TO HINDU NAMES, WEARING HINDU SYMBOLS, and courting Hindu women. They then reveal themselves after they are married. Do you even hear how insane you sound?

"I want people to understand how crazy and conspiracist this logic is so they understand why to take every claim you have of "Hindus are still oppressed in India" with a massive grain of salt. You are literally promoting the Hindu version of The Great Replacement Theory and of white people panicking over white women having mixed-race babies."

I'm sorry, I had to laugh here. What the fuck is wrong with you. Did you even go through my blog before sending me this? I literally reblog cases of actual Hinduphobia and violence against Hindus. That's literally it.

"You do not care about Muslims. It is a smokescreen. You think they are lesser and you support people oppressing them."

Bro. I'm sorry, so just speaking up about Hinduphobia means I do not care about Muslims? I promise it isn't that deep. We don't have an agenda like the one you've made up in your head. All we want is to co-exist in PEACE. I will never understand you people. Violence against Muslims is a real thing, and I 100% condemn it. You make up shit about us in your head, and pretend we're foaming at the mouth, ready to murder all the Muslims. You lunatic.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: grooming, sa, abuse, manipulation, being given aphrodisiacs, abuser trying to fix me sexuality by sa

looking for: understanding what happened, validation, comfort/support

nickname: wolk

Hello everyone. I am currently in the process of doing emdr treatment and it's doing wonders for me. I would for sure recommend it. It's also making me realize a lot of things about my abuse. I was groomed and sexually abused over a longer period of time by the same person until I escaped them. Yesterday as I woke up from a nightmare I suddenly remembered some details of my abuse that I had never given significance before. But suddenly I seemed to connect the dots. My abuser coerced me into taking a variety of supplements. He claimed this would aid me with my depression and fatigue, but when I googled them yesterday all of them showed up being most commonly known for being aphrodisiacs that are proven to influence your hormones. (with people usually taking them with the goal of becoming more fertile and feeling a stronger desire for sex, or aiding in erectile dysfunction for people with a penis). I mostly started connecting these dots because I remembered hearing him say that he was feeding me chocolate as an aphrodisiac, so I started to wonder about the supplements. I had a clear visual memory of the bottles so I was able to remember the names.

I say this because I felt so much pain in realizing what these supplements were probably intended for. It made me feel like he was preparing my body for what he was going to do to it. Because the supplements were only a bit prior to the sexual abuse starting. In a way it made me feel drugged, but I feel it is not my place to use that terminology since I was not made to be blanked out and they were only supplement products and not illegal drugs. A big theme in my abuse was that he claimed I was broken for being asexual and he had taken it upon himself to fix me. The supplements now feel like he was trying to cure my asexuality and awaken something inside of me. I have a lot of feelings about the whole situation that I find hard to put into words.

My questions would be. Is this a situation that has happened to others? Is this a known thing abusers do? What name can I give this type of abuse? (the being coerced into taking supplements under a false pretense) Am I overreacting for feeling like this was malicious? Is it wrong of me to assume he gave them to me as aphrodisiacs? (with the knowledge that he intentionally gave me other 'aphrodisiacs') Is it normal for this to make me feel violated in yet another way, or would that be a dramatic reaction?

Thank you for reading this and letting me speak about this. It's been really eating away at me.

Hi wolk,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. What happened was a violation of your boundaries and bodily autonomy, and please know that your feelings about this are valid. It's understandable to have a lot of different and confusing feelings about this that can be hard to describe.

Please know that it's okay to say that you were drugged because it's true. Drugs don't have to be illegal and you don't have to black out for it to count as drugging. What happened is also reminiscent of corrective rape, because it sounds like he was doing all this to try and "cure" your asexuality. Also this goes without saying but please remember that you are not broken for being asexual.

Although being drugged with aphrodisiacs is a specific experience, It's common for abusers to lie and manipulate their victim to do what the abuser wants, even if it means leading them to believe that something has an alternate purpose than it is intended for.

As far as the drugging, you can call it that if you wish, but deception could also be a name for this, a form of emotional abuse, as you were made to believe that the medication had a purpose it did not. Also corrective rape is classified as a hate crime. It's a form of sexual abuse. You are absolutely not overreacting for feeling like this was malicious. It's completely valid to feel violated by this experience.

I'm glad to hear you're in EMDR therapy and that it's been working great for you. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[dollanganger-in-the-attic]

Hi, I'm new to the fandom side of VCA (aside from adoring complete VCA when it was running), and I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of information about why everyone seems to hate AN? I don't have any strong feelings on him, but if he's a bad person, I want to beware. I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go or who to ask.

Hmm im not sure if i know of like a mega thread with all the reasons many VCA fans dislike him so i can only speak to what I feel and what others have told me.

For me its really only a matter of opinion. I still enjoy the books he’s written, the Landry series is prob my second fav vca series in fact. I just don’t agree with certain decisions he’s made. And a lot of it might even be coming from the publisher rather than him personally.

For example: its hard to trust Andrew Neiderman when he was introduced to us under false pretenses. When he took over ghostwriting for VCA, fans were told that he was just finishing the manuscripts and ideas that VCA left behind. But that ended up being a lie and he was just writing new material under her name. He’s even stated that there were no manuscripts ever given to him, before changing his statement. And the family confirmed that none of Virginia’s unfinished work for the casteel series was used in the final books. Anyway to me it seems strange he was chosen at all, considering VCA wrote a lot about what it means to be a young girl terrorized by men- so… you replace her with a male writer? Strange choice. That’s probably why his identity was hidden by the Andrew’s family for quite a while.

To me that wasn’t egregious on its own. He was under contract to create so many books for the VCA brand anyways. But my thinking changed when the fanfiction works started being published. After VCA’s last close relative died, Andrew Neiderman suddenly started taking over works that he didn’t write. He started messing with the original series like Flowers in the Attic and My Sweet Audrina. It felt very disrespectful that not only was he trying to add to a series that was not his own- but he tried to change the canon that Virginia created! He published the Diary series and brought Cory back to life even though Cory was not his character to toy with. It upset a lot of the fans because it was a blatant cashgrab. One that he is still milking with the “first corrine” books. Mind you, his original contract stated that he was PROHIBITED from creating any stories with existing VCA characters. They tried to protect Virginia’s original works and i guess once no one was left alive to stop him, he thought it was free game. Which is yucky.

Another personal grievance of mine is that I’ve seen him be introduced in articles and interviews as the creator of Flowers in the Attic when that is absolutely untrue. Stolen valor lol it feels like he isn’t confident enough in his own work that he needs to tie himself as tightly as he can to Flowers in the Attic. Its like he completely took over the name V.C. Andrews and believes he IS the real Vc Andrews since hes written more books under the name than actual Virginia did. And so with the name he thinks he now owns all of her works- such as Flowers in the Attic etc

Even this biography feels disrespectful and untrustworthy. It feels very much like another cash grab because AN knows he can say anything he wants about Virginia because she isn’t here ti dispute it.

I don’t blame anyone who likes him and his works. And i dont think every fan needs to be in the know about this sentiment. Its ok to just be a fan of the books and not look into the ghostwriter’s approval ratings. It’s just something I feel a bit strongly about so I tend to speak up on it. I hope I shed some light on where I’m coming from. If you’re interested to know more I’d suggest joining one of the VCA fangroups on facebook and asking around. There are people who feel stronger than I do and have more insight :)

[yorprincess]

twiloid​:

Pain panged into the tightness in his chest when sparkling rubies met his dulled blue gaze. He expected her to grieve him; expected Anya to grieve too, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about it. The knife in his stomach would turn if he allowed the slightest suggestion, so he avoided thinking her name. As for Yor…

It wasn’t like they were truly married… there was no love aside from his unrequited affection that he wanted to take to his grave. Why wasn’t she yelling at him? Hitting him? It’s not like he would stop a slap across his cheek because he felt he deserved it. Instead she was crouched at his feet, gathering the items he dropped while apologizing. He knew she recognized him. But if she knew who he was and grieved his death and deception, then was he in the right to assume she’d just happened to bump into him by accident? Did she look for him? Or did a WISE agent usher her in Wisbeck because Twilight was there? Why was she protecting him? 

Tension buckled up in his shoulders when she nearly slipped his former name. A force greater than his self restraint overtook arms that coiled around her. Face burying in her shoulder without a care that he was smooshing his nose in the pattern of her coat’s fabric that would surely imprint on his skin. The clothes she held were the only barrier between their bodies meeting, but he was determined to not let them be the reason why they would keep them apart as his hug on her tightened, his arms on her gaining a bit more ground as one hooked completely around her upper back while the other found its way escalating the nape of her neck to cup the back of her head. What was a name to a spy with a thousand faces, if not a name he wanted to keep? 

For the briefest of seconds, she thought he was going to strike her. His arms reached out for her, fingers unfurled, his expression pained. She froze in place, awaiting what punishment he deemed fit for her sins.

But that never came.

Instead, his warm arms wrapped around her and she nearly collapsed at the contact. The clothing she had picked up once again fell to the floor as his face pressed into her shoulder.

He was trembling, she realized quickly. No. He was sobbing into her shoulder.

A switch went off within her mind and her arms wrapped around him, rubbing the back of his grey jacket with one hand while the other caressed the back of his neck. The smell of fish was strong in her nose, almost overwhelmingly so, but she ignored it for the sake of holding her husband in her arms.

As she did so, something within her clicked into place, something she had been missing, and wondered just how she survived without it. Clearly, she truly hadn't been living. Breathing was easier, warmth that had been sapped from her for months suddenly filled her being. It was the feeling of home; of tea, cocoa, and coffee in the living room, of sweet "goodnight"s and "have a good day"s, of warm meals prepared together and eaten comfortably at the dinner table.

It was missing Anya and Bond, but this was better than the emptiness that had consumed her in the life she lived prior to meeting Loid Forger and in the blip of time between his "death" and now.

A small voice said that it wouldn't last. That it never could. You are an assassin. A cold-blooded killer. When he finds out he will leave you or kill you himself.

The tears that had been stinging her eyes fell onto the skin of his exposed neck. "I was looking for you... Anya and Bond are here, safe and sound. I - we came to say goodbye properly... Which was probably a stupid idea. I'm sorry for making you worry." She answered, her voice barely above a whisper, but her voice stalled before she could say anything else. Her arms tightened around him as he slackened against her, his words registering in her mind.

His words were said in distress, but they feel like a frozen pick to her heart.

She pulled him off her shoulder and cupped his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her, forcing her ruby eyes to meet his fathomless blue ones. "Please... please just listen to me. I could never hate you," She stated softly with conviction, though her voice trembled with a sob of her own. "Even when you were pushing me, pushing Anya away before you left... Whatever emotion I felt wasn't hatred. Disappointment? Hurt? Sadness? Yes. But never hatred. And..." Tears were trickling down her cheeks now, her lips trembling as she tried to speak once more. "How could I ever hate the only man who's ever seen me for me? Who cared for Anya and encouraged her to be the best person she could be, to make her happy beyond any mission directive you had? Even if it was all ... built under false pretenses on both our parts, it was never fake to Anya. She loves you, you know that, right? Even when you left she... She always seemed to know that you left for a good reason, even if she misses you terribly." Her thumbs gently rubbed the tears away from under his eyes.

"I don't care what you are, what moniker you wear, or where you come from. You work for peace, right? You get your hands dirty so Anya can smile and be happy? So she doesn't have to grow up like you and I did? I know that life better than anyone, my dear." Using the soft endearment feels just as precious as using his name, even whispered through chapped lips, one that she didn't deserve to use. Her expression stricken, the tremble returned as her hands dropped from his face to rest on his chest before slowly pulling them away from him as if a trail of blood followed in their wake. "Please... Please forgive me for not being strong enough to see that and let you go."

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 PT.8

Guerin had found a dog friendly bar and currently sat on the patio with Eneoji sipping at a beer as she waited for JB. Guerin had opted for an oversized black shirt with mesh shoulders and lime green biker shorts. A black lipstick perhaps gave her more of a dark energy than she usually managed to exude. She was leaned back, one leg tucked up under her as she listened to music through headphones with her eyes closed, petting her dog with her free hand. She felt her fluffy companion shift and stand suddenly, prompting Guerin to look up. JB had entered the patio area, raising his hand in greeting as their eyes met. She smiled, sitting up more and taking her headphones out.

"I took the liberty of getting started." She said half apologetically as she gestured at the table. His dark gray button up shirt was half tucked into beige slacks and per usual he seemed to have missed more buttons than necessary. She briefly wondered if she could ever get used to being in the presence of people like him and Jackson, they seemed to always suck the air out of the area.

"Sorry I'm late." He said, sitting in the chair next to her and Eneoji.

"Next round is on you." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Alright alright." He said, pouring them each shots of soju, handing her one. After their shot he refilled again and cracked his own beer, lounging back into his own chair, "I talked to BamBam about the rest of the video. We don't need more shots of Mihi but he'd like to get more film of us if you'd be okay with that."

Guerin inhaled and nodded. She wasn't thrilled about being on camera again but she had already committed this far. It would seem a shame to back out now. "Short of me falling into the river and drowning it's unlikely to end as poorly as last time." She laughed at he lame attempt of a joke.

"Sorry..." JB said awkwardly, unsure of how to react.

"It's fine. I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's just been a weird day." She shook her head and focused her attention on Eneoji who leaned into her mom's chair for more attention.

"Ah..." JB started to say something else but he was interrupted by Guerin's phone ringing. Jackson was finally done with his schedule for the day and called as he had promised.

"Sorry JB, can you give me a minute?" She told Eneoji to stay and answered her phone, walking to the far end of the patio that was fortunately mostly empty, "Hi Jackson." She said, making an effort to sound more upbeat than she felt.

"Guerin, I'm so sorry it's late. Are you okay?" Jacksons voice and his obvious concern made her smile. He managed to give her some energy even speaking over the phone.

"I'm fine. I already told you. It's not a big deal." She reassured him.

"She really is just a friend. She works for my label and we see each other a lot." He explained further.

"Jackson, I believe you. It was just a hug. You're allowed to hug people." She smiled and turned, leaning against the railing. JB had been looking over at her and the two made eye contact. She grinned, pointing at her phone and rolling her eyes. He nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable and took a sip of his beer as he looked away. Guerin was under no false pretense that he couldn't hear her side of the conversation but he must have felt a bit like he was eavesdropping.

"I shouldn't though, I just told you how I felt. I should be more reserved." He argued. Guerin frowned.

"That's silly. Platonic affection is fine between friends. I hug my friends too. This really is being blown out of proportion." She frowned, her momentary energy boost was ebbing away.

"Really? Who are you hugging?" Jackson asked. He seemed to be making an effort to not sound like he cared a lot but Guerin furrowed her brow at the question.

"My friends." She repeated, "Jackson I'm sorry to cut this short but I'm out with Eneoji and JB right now so I can't talk long. I just wanted to let you know it's fine." She started to head back to her seat.

"Wait, you're out with JB? Just the two of you?" Jackson sounded worried.

"No, Eneoji is with us too. And I dont think you're in a position to be upset by that." She said, suddenly annoyed with his double standard as she sank into her chair.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm having to apologize a lot today. Tell JB I said hi." Jackson corrected himself readily.

"Thank you Jackson. And I'll let him know. Have a good night." She felt a bit guilty for her comment but chose not to address it just yet and hung up after Jackson's farewell. "Sorry JB. Jackson says hi." She took a shot of soju not waiting for him. He leaned forward and automatically refilled it for her, holding up his so they could do the next one together.

"Sounds like that article did cause some problems." He mentioned it for the first time this night. Guerin had wondered if he was aware of everything. She shook her head, closing her eyes and furrowing her brow.

"Honestly it's not even the stupid hug that's the problem." She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"We don't have to talk about it." JB shrugged.

"That would be nice actually." Guerin was grateful. She had hoped the phone call would clear things up but instead she felt tired and conflicted.

"What were you listening to when I got here?" JB asked, ready with a new topic as though it had been planned. Guerin smiled in appreciation.

"HEET. I really do love their music. I'm so grateful I can work so closely with a group I can be a fan of." She gushed excitedly.

"Byoungjin worked really hard composing songs when I knew him." JB nodded with a smile.

"He and Tobio work together well. Both he and Minhwan had good things to say about you." JB's eyes flicked up to hers, "Well, all of you really. But he said you especially taught him a lot about music composition." She shrugged and broke eye contact, taking a sip of her drink.

"I should treat them to a meal sometime." JB said trying to disguise the act of fondness as something cool.

"You are so soft." She giggled into her beer.

"Soft? What does that mean?" JB raised his eyebrows, eyes widening slightly.

"It means despite you trying to be so cool all the time you're actually a cutie baby." She teased him.

His mouth dropped open as he feigned offense, "Ya." He started to protest through Guerins laughter. Their conversation stayed light for another beer and two bottles of soju. Guerin suggested they take Eneoji home and continue drinking from the garden on her rooftop. They stocked up on some drinks from the convenience store, and Guerin grabbed her bluetooth speaker from her apartment along with a blanket and two throw pillows. She and JB set up with their samoyed companion who was allowed free roam of the space.

"Are these your plants?" JB asked curiously at the odd mix of botanicals in pots and planters.

"No, I'm not good with plants besides the couple in my apartment. But everyone here adds their own and we all get to appreciate it." Guerin said, selecting a playlist and quietly starting music as JB poured each of them a somaek. Despite the duration they had been drinking Guerin was starting to teeter from tipsy to drunk, so she sipped this new drink more slowly. The two sat quietly enjoying the night and music, talking at random intervals but neither feeling pressured to keep a conversation going. Suddenly Jackson's song "Bullet to the Heart" came on and without speaking the tone changed.

"You know." Guerin said suddenly after the first verse, "The article and the hug really didn't bother me."

JB nodded slowly but didn't say anything as he waited to see if she wanted to continue.

"But I've been in such a weird mood all day. I've just been kind of tired and more irritable than usual. I couldn't figure out why. But I think it's just that I had to -deal- with it. I had to hear about it over and over again and keep assuring the same people over and over again that I was fine." She sighed, running her hands through her hair.

"I know everyone means well and they care but it also makes me feel strange for being unbothered. Like I have to justify to people why I'm okay with it." She stared at her somaek, avoiding eye contact with JB.

He waited a few moments before speaking, "A lot of times people say they're fine when they aren't." He saw her start to protest but held up his hand, "Not that you aren't! But that happens. You have a legitimate reason to be upset and if you aren't people might think you are just trying to avoid the problem." JB shrugged.

"A legitimate reason to be upset? It's a hug." She protested.

"A hug between a man and a woman." JB added in.

She scoffed and said in English, "So heteronormative." He raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head, "I don't know the korean phrase. It just references the ridiculous idea that relationships between opposite sexes are the norm and dismisses same sex or other types of relationships." She shrugged.

He nodded but seemed at a loss, "Okay..."

"Later. It's a big topic." She shook her head feeling a pang of disappointment.

"All I mean is that in Korea it's normal for someone to be upset by a hug with someone else." JB picked his words carefully.

"Would you?" Guerin asked suddenly.

"Ah..." he struggled, "I think I would be..." he answered honestly. Guerin chewed the inside of her cheek thoughtfully, another pang of disappointment silencing her. They sat like that for a few moments before he spoke again.

"But I could work on it." He added with a thoughtful nod, "I've worked on a lot of things. I don't see why it couldn't be one more."

Guerin let a small smile escape. Maybe he was just paying lip service but in that moment she appreciated it. Throwing caution to the wind she downed her drink, deciding that was quite enough serious talk.

"Hey. This topic sucks." She said bluntly, "Let's do something else."

JB laughed, killed his drink off too and went along with her clunky subject change. They played games until they finished off the booze and decided to head downstairs. Eneoji perked up as they folded up the blankets and grabbed pillows.

Coming into her apartment she kicked off her shoes, "I'm hungry. You want some ramyeon?" She asked.

He did a double take and poorly hid an immature laugh.

"Stooooop." She laughed, hitting him playfully in the shoulder, "You're such a kid."

"Ya, I'm not a kid, I'm a man." He protested, turning to face her. JB knew how to turn on the sexy act which he utilized in full force, meeting her gaze with hooded eyes and biting his lip with a smirk.

She was speechless for a moment as it very obviously worked, her alcohol addled brain not allowing her the reaction time she needed to recover. She blinked furiously and licked her lips subconsciously, causing his gaze to flick down to her mouth. His expression became suddenly less playful as he stepped closer to her. She panicked, putting a hand on the center of his chest as her breath hitched in her throat.

"Y-you keep missing these buttons." She stammered, lifting her other hand and shakily doing up a couple more buttons on his shirt. He didn't move as she worked, watching her face and his playful smirk came back. She didn't make eye contact with him again, positive she wouldn't survive, "Only kids don't know how to button their shirts." She muttered in an unconvincing attempt to be playful again. She pulled away and headed into the kitchen, JB allowing some distance before a big grin spread across his face and he stuck his tongue out excitedly, winking at Eneoji who watched them, unimpressed, from the couch.

Charlie sleepily blinked her eyes open before sitting up blearily and looking around. It took her a moment to remember where she was until her eyes landed on her boyfriend laying next to her, just beginning to shift himself. He didn't seem to be wearing a shirt which she could appreciate even in her half awake state, but after a beat or two she also realized she wasn't wearing anything either. Just as Jinyoung opened his eyes she dropped back down, pulling her covers up over her.

"Mmm no..." he grumbled, his voice low and gravely from sleep. He reached across her body, pulling her against him as he nuzzled into her affectionately.

"No what?" She asked after clearing her throat.

"No hiding." He said simply, placing a kiss to her jawline.

Her urge to escape was diminished as soon as his arms went around her, but evaporated completely as he continued to be sweet and snuggly with her. Instead she turned in his arms to face him, cuddling up close and tangling her legs into his.

"Mmf. Better." He grunted with a self satisfied smirk, kissing her forehead again, "Good morning." Charlie couldn't imagine anything feeling better in that moment than their skin contact in that moment. Well, until she remembered the night prior. A blush crept onto her face and she tried to hide her smile by pressing her lips together tightly. Jinyoung also must have been having similar memories, but his body responded differently from just a blush. He not so subtly cleared his own throat and rolled onto his back, reaching to the nightstand for their phones, handing Charlie hers. She chose to allow him the distraction this time, but only because she remembered she hadn't checked to see Guerin's response.

Charlie was relieved to see her friends initial response, but that quickly turned to amused as hours later the messages had clearly become drunk texting. She giggled and covered her mouth. Jinyoung peered over her shoulder to see what made her laugh.

"Hey, this is private." She chastised him lightly, moving her phone and rolling away slightly.

"Jagiyaaaa." He pouted reaching for her to pull her toward him again, "I just want to see what's making you so happy." He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Do you think being cute is going to get you what you want?" She teased him, trying to hide that yes, him being cute would get him everything he wanted.

"Maybe." He sulked, then suddenly snatched at her phone. She yelled and pulled it just out of his reach in time, causing the two to wrestle around in the bed playfully. He finally got his hands on her phone but it had timed out and was locked so he couldnt read it.

"Jagiiii." He whined, "What was funny?"

Charlie was distracted, as they had wrestled the blanket had come off them and she was now looking at Jinyoung in his full glory. She tried to regain her composure.

"It was just Guerin... drunk texting." She said sounding very not casual at all. Jinyoung noticed her distraction and feigned being offended, taking the blanket and pulling it across his body.

"Charlie." He scolded her, but she had seen his body begin to betray him again. This time she had other ideas and she sat up, pushing him the rest of the way down, pulling the blanket away and throwing her leg across him so she was straddling him. Jinyoung was legitimately surprised by the bold move, but he recovered quickly, smirking up at his girlfriend.

"I'll take my phone back now." She held out her hand.

He laughed, tucking his hands behind his head, looking up at her. He might be an excellent actor but Charlie could feel him under her and see the expression in his eyes change. "What if I say no?" He said, determined to keep up his act.

She moved her hips against him, causing him to break character as he blinked rapidly and bit his lip to keep from gasping. Now it was Charlie's turn to smirk. "I can be convincing."

Jinyoung licked his lips before he acted quickly. Holding her hips in place he sat up, shifting to keep her in his lap, he leaned forward and nipped at her neck, "Do your worst." He challenged her, hands holding her in place as he bucked up against her.

In their power play her phone lay lost and forgotten amidst the sheets as the couple managed to distract themselves.

Jackson came back into town with the same energy as when he left, a party. This time he had rented a private residence and hired caterers and bartenders to take care of his staff and friends. His new album had proven to be successful and his staff had worked hard so he wanted to show his appreciation. In addition he had invited his ex-trainee friends, including Byoungjin and Minhwan of HEET, along with their band members, as well as Guerin and Charlie.

"Hey drunky." Charlie said in English as she sauntered up to her friend by the pool in the backyard with a playful smirk.

"Hey... sex person." Guerin offered back laughing at her own inability to make a witty retort.

"Hey, you can't just assume things!" Charlie protested, looking around to make sure no one else was nearby.

"It was only an assumption until your blush and furtive stares confirmed it." Guerin said taking a sip from her drink.

"Are you seriously already drinking again?" Charlie asked incredulously to change the subject.

"Oh hell no. This is water. I'm still not recovered. I drank way too much last night. This old body doesn't recover like it used to." Guerin sighed. "Sorry about those drunk texts."

"Oh don't be. That was hilarious. I expect more in the future." Charlie laughed. "So did you and JB... did anything happen?"

"No, thank god." Guerin shook her head.

"Why would you be happy about that?" Charlie asked in disbelief.

"I do NOT want my first sexual encounter with JB to be while I'm wasted. That would be so sad." Guerin made the mistake of not picking her words carefully.

"Oh? Your first time? So you want to have multiple rounds?" Charlie's knowing grin looked a bit evil.

"Hey. Come on. I'm hung over, go easy on me." Guerin groaned in protest.

"Okay... but does that mean you're ready to give Jackson an answer?" Charlie asked more seriously. Guerin hesitated then nodded slowly. "Are you going to tell him tonight?"

"I'll have to if he asks. I told him I'd give him an answer when he returned, and I don't want to string him along." Guerin looked forlornly at her water then sighed, "Maybe I do need a drink."

The two were interrupted by the sliding glass door opening and an excited voice calling out, "Noona!" Looking up, Guerin spotted Seungbin of HEET, behind him the rest of the group including their manager Insu had all just arrived and were greeting others at the party.

"Baby boy!" Guerin cried out with a happy grin, holding her arms open. The adolescent boy bounded up to her and they hugged. She lifted the slightly taller boy and spun him around happily before setting him down and releasing him. The rest of HEET had started to follow their maknae out and Guerin introduced them to Charlie.

"I like your hair." Seungbin complimented Charlie with a sweet smile after he bowed in greeting. Charlie had already been smitten with the cute behavior exhibited by the boy so she couldn't help be a little extra moved by his compliment as she thanked him.

"Sorry we're late." Tobio said with his usual straight face.

"We came from practice, but it went a little longer than we thought." Minhwan added.

"Don't be silly, I'm sure everyone will be super stoked to see you!" Guerin waved their apology off. "You must have been working hard, have you eaten?"

"Insu bought us some snacks while we were practicing." Byoungjin said pragmatically.

"Snacks are not dinner." Guerin said reprovingly, "Come on let's get you boys some real food." Her brood followed her inside to the party, Insu falling behind looking concerned.

"She always feeds you so much." He said worried.

"It's okay hyung, it's just one night." Gabriel said with a big grin, patting their manager on the shoulder.

"We're on a break anyway. I'll make the team work it off tomorrow. Just enjoy the party hyung." Minhwan reassured him as they followed after.

JB arrived characteristically late to the party as well but with much less fanfare than a small group like HEET had. He located Jackson first and went up to greet and congratulate his friend. Jackson let out his trademark happy squeal when he saw his hyung and embraced him happily. JB grinned with his friends infectious mood and the two began catching up.

"Ya, punk!" An elevated voice drew their attention. JB and Jackson looked up to see Guerin with icing smeared on her cheek and, presumably the culprit, in a headlock under her arm, "You wanna go for a swim?" She scolded, unable to sound believably angry through her laughter. Charlie, Minhwan and Seungbin were laughing, Tobio had raised his eyebrows in surprise while Byoungjin shook his head disapprovingly and Insu looked worried. Guerin carted the cackling troublemaker outside, giving him a noogie on the way out. The others followed, offering apologies.

Jackson and JB exchanged glances and laughed, Jackson much more enthusiastically.

"She manages to cause trouble wherever she goes." JB commented drily.

Jackson nodded, his smile fading a bit, "Has she answered your confession yet?" He asked suddenly.

JB looked surprised and somewhat uncomfortable, before shaking his head, "You?"

"No. She said she'd tell me when I get back. I'm gonna ask her tonight." He looked serious, "I'm worried. She said she wasn't bothered by that news story but I think she is just saying that. She gets annoyed if I bring it up."

"Don't." JB said simply.

"Don't what?" Jackson asked, confused.

"Don't bring it up. If she tells you she's okay then believe her. Trust her word. If she has something to discuss she'll bring it up." He looked over at Jackson who was watching him with a strange expression, "What?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing. You're right." Jackson said, shaking his head and sounding thoughtful. A sudden splash from outside interrupted them again. Charlie poked her head in as people had moved to the door to see what caused the commotion as more splashing and yelling could be heard.

"Um, are there some towels?" She asked struggling to speak through her laughter.

The rental property had fortunately been stocked with towels and bathrobes. Guerin, Gabriel and Seungbin had all rinsed off, bundled up and were sitting in the master bedroom with their wet clothes drip drying outside. Insu had left to get a change of clothes for the boys while Jinyoung had offered to drive Charlie to get clothes for Guerin.

Guerin was embarrassed, she knew it looked like she had been the one to cause the whole incident by threatening Gabriel when dragging him out. She hadn't actually intended to follow through and had even let him go. Unfortunately the youthful Seungbin got caught up in the comedy of it and snuck up on Gabriel to push him in. Double unfortunately, Gabriel responded by grabbing Seungbin to drag him along. Triple unfortunately Guerin had tried to grab the two of them, but had been off balance, somehow one of them had latched onto her thinking she was the other boy and down she went with them. The next few moments were a blur of laughter, splashing and yelling as she processed what had happened and how it would be perceived. Fortunately for her her phone was in a lifeproof case since she had accepted her life was a series of disasters, and the boys didn't have personal phones yet so there was no lasting damage.

Youngjae's loud laugh still rang in her ears. All she could think of to say was "It wasn't me." As she held up her hands defensively, prompting more laughter from the accommodating types in the crowd. Some had surely looking on in disapproval but there wasn't much she could do about that. She spotted JB and Jackson throwing their heads back and laughing at the sad picture of a shamed dripping grown ass woman and two boys. She couldn't help but laugh too.

Insu arrived after Minhwan had finished scolding the boys despite being one of the people who had laughed the loudest. Guerin had been spared since she was older, and perhaps he was afraid he might get a dose of the pool himself if he tested her.

Seungbin had apologized sincerely, worried about Guerin being upset, but she assured him she wasn't. Gabriel apologized less convincingly considering he still seemed to think the whole interaction had been quite fun, though he hadn't intended it to go that far. Tobio had checked on Guerin a few times to make sure she really was uninjured and not too cold. After their apologies the two boys left to change and everyone left Guerin on her own.

A soft knock sounded at the door. Thinking it was Charlie, Guerin called out, "Come in!"

Instead she saw Jackson poking his head in, covering his eyes with his hand as he said, "It's me!"

She laughed despite a worried pang in her stomach, "Jackson you can come in, I'm covered."

He closed the door behind him, peaked through his fingers, the let out a scandalized gasp seeing her in her robe and covering his face again. He dropped the act as she let out another laugh and threw a throw pillow at him. "Ya, careful getting physical, look what happened last time!" He chastised her.

"It wasn't me!" She protested again indignantly.

"I know, I know." He approached her and she was reminded of just how good looking he really was. She became uncharacteristically aware that she was in fact not wearing anything other the bathrobe and had to resist the urge to adjust it just to be sure. He moved one of the plush chairs closer to her and sat in it, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. He looked nervous but serious and Guerin had a sinking feeling she knew what was coming. She struggled to meet his gaze as he tried to maintain eye contact, "I don't want to pressure you. I was worried there might not be a time to talk one on one. I hoped maybe you had been considering us while I was gone. If not I wanted to say I can wait longer. Things got weird and maybe we can try while spending time together."

The corners of Guerin's lips twitched and she bit her lower lip. The beautiful man in front of her waited as patiently as he could in the few seconds before she found herself responding, "I don't need to think anymore." She said in a choked voice. She took a deep breath and Jackson visibly braced himself. She reached forward and took his hands affectionately, "You're so amazing, I'm happy you're in my life and spending time with you brings me joy. You're one of the kindest, most thoughtful, hard working people I've ever been blessed to know." He seemed to know what was coming and his expression made her choke up again, her eyes stung as they watered and she blinked rapidly to stem the threatening flow, "Ultimately I don't see us working out romantically. The worst part is that it's not a reflection on your character. I just think us together like that would clash. I hate it because I do like you so much Jackson, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't want to see me again, but I hope we can keep being friends if you can forgive me." Her tears began to fall seeing his crushed expression and watering eyes.

He sat for a moment before speaking, his already deep voice slightly more gravelly than usual, "And handsome."

"What?" She asked unable to piece together the context.

"You forgot to mention how handsome I am." He joked.

"Oh, stupid me." She put a hand to her head and rolled her teary eyes. "Super handsome. Ridiculously handsome. So handsome it should be illegal really." They both laughed through their pain and awkward encounter. She wanted to offer him a hug but wasn't sure if it was the right time.

A knock at the door halted further action and they let go of each others hands. Guerin wiped her face on the sleeves of her robe quickly before she answered, "Come in!" She said as Jackson stood and turned to the doorway.

Charlie poked her head in, not reacting as her eyes flicked to Jackson and then back to Guerin, before holding up a bag, "Some clothes!"

Guerin stood and walked over, "Thanks so much Charlie. Will you let Jinyoung know I said thanks as well?" Charlie nodded and dutifully disappeared from the doorway.

"I'll let you change." Jackson said, raising his hand in a small wave as he disappeared through the door. He didn't seem angry, but he did seem eager to part ways. She understood, and was partially relieved by the abrupt end herself. She focused instead on getting dressed and pulled the clothes out that Charlie had grabbed.

"Oh goddammit. I thanked that bitch too soon." She half groaned half laughed at the chosen ensemble.